On my support group for PAS, a link to a YouTube video was posted. It’s an amazing representation of PAS, and yet another mother who has been dealing with it. It’s worth watching, and hard to watch at the same time. It’s also important to remember that PAS isn’t just between parents and children, it’s also grandparents and extended family and children. Whoever commits it, PAS is abuse and needs to be stopped. It’s wrong.
As a mother of two who don’t want me as their mother I can certainly attest to this. It’s not their fault anymore than it is my fault. But that’s so hard to accept when they are adults. My son, after the most horrible point in his life, which will now never be the same, still won’t speak to me. He was so indoctrinated into the alienation that he doesn’t possess an ounce of love for his mother, only hatred. Or, very much love for other people either it seems.
I tried to get him help to deal with his anger and help him gain proper perspectives, I tried my best. My daughter disowned me for it, and no one else bothered to listen. And now, look what’s happened? If they had taken an hour and did an evaluation on my son when I begged them to help, perhaps this recent tragedy could have been avoided, and all the lives involved would now not be changed forever.
So just over 5 months ago, my daughter threw me away, and now, my son is lost forever. Too much grief to bear for one person, and I’m not even the one most hurt by my son’s actions. I can’t even imagine how others involved feel, and my heart breaks for them too. I did what I said I wouldn’t, and sent a note to my daughter, letting her know she was in my prayers, and that if she ever needed to talk I’d be there. I got a note back asking for my phone number. So, I’m hopeful, cautiously.
I thank God every day for the people in my life, Michael whose love and support are the most important to me, my sisters Cherie, Karen and Janet whose comfort are invaluable, and the rest of my family for their love and support too. I thank God for my work, for my clients and friends. And, I thank God for giving me the chance to be a mother at all, to two beautiful people whom I will love forever.
Dear Lord, please send Your healing to all those who are now in pain, help them to heal, and be at peace. I pray You will continue to send Your love to my daughter and her beautiful family, keep them healthy and happy. Please Lord, send Your love to my son, guide him and help him do the right thing, after all the wrong he has done. And if it is Your will that my children never speak to me again, I pray as always for the strength and tools to bear it. I humbly thank You for the many blessings You’ve given me and endeavor to deserve them. Amen.