I keep going over and over recent events. I keep thinking ‘how should I have handled this…” or “did I do that right…?” I’m reminded by words from the movie “Crazy Heart” where Bad is being told by his friend that he can’t give up – this after his son rejected him calling. Of course it had been 24 years since Bad had tried to reach his son. Bad tried to reach out to his child he tried! While we can understand the anger from the child, I agreed with Bad’s friend – don’t give up!!!
Watching that movie, I was in tears during that scene. Don’t give up!
It is just over a month since my daughter told me she didn’t want anything more to do with me. I pray every day she changes her mind. Meanwhile, my grandson’s birthday is very soon, and I’ve purchased and shipped something that he might be able to use, maybe for preschool? Will I even be allowed to give him a gift?
I won’t give up hoping my children open their hearts to me. But I also won’t stop living. I finally, for the first time in my life have a good home relationship. Michael is a very supportive and loving person. No judgments, no preconceptions, nothing but taking me as I am. Its not that he doesn’t think I have faults, he knows them and accepts them. Especially that ‘no ironing’ thing I have going. LOL But, I do bake him cookies, does that make up for it? I’m so grateful he takes the good with the not so good. Yes, I’m very blessed he’s in my life.
Now, if I could just convince my children that what they think they know about me is light years from who I really am, I’d be in complete bliss.
Wake up children, see me. Remember, there’s a reason why I’ve never given up on you…
I love you. Mom