I saw the most incredible video on YouTube (Thank you Leon for sending it to me!) about how a young man was running a race and despite a torn hamstring and intense pain, finished with the help of his father.
First, it moved me to tears, then it brought to mind my struggle to regain relationships with my children. I have not stopped striving toward that goal, nor will I ever.
Despite their recent behavior (my son’s threats and my daughter’s disowning me, blocking me on facebook and more), I still love them. How could I ever stop? They are a part of me, and even though they believe they are better off without me, they should remember, they wouldn’t be here at all if not for me.
Before seeing this video I was almost to the point of acceptance, that I should just give up and let them believe what they have been taught all this time – give up on them.
Now, my strength to hold out hope that they will come around is renewed. I pray every day they will come to realize that just like coins there are two sides to everything. Nothing is as they believe it to be, where I am concerned. I’m not the monster they have been brainwashed into believing. Also, that even though they’ve disagreed with my reaching out to them, that as their mother, its not something they should expect to stop. It’s not harassment to reach out and let them know you love them, it’s not harassment to want them to contact you.
So, Nichole and Don, I’m still here, I love you with all my heart, and miss you terribly. I’ll always be here for you.